Friday, March 23, 2012

Scrapbook Sunday Week 3

Still going strong!!

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DISCLAIMER: I surf the net and many scrapbooking blogs, boards etc. I am 99.9% none of these pages are my original design… I am sure I saw them somewhere, or they are my interpretation of a sketch. I am not a professional scrap booker… although I would like to be! I don’t list supplies and keep track of what came from where… that would take away valuable time that I can spend creating.
If you have a question… feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer you.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Remembering When I Was a Perfect Parent…

you know back before I had kids.

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Back when I said my babies would never…

have a binky

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have sugar

watch TV before the age of 2 and even once they were two screen time would be limited

sleep in my bed

eat Fast Food/processed food

play with toy weapons

well funny thing is now that I am a parent.  I now know there is no such thing as a perfect mother.  To all you mama’s that I JUDGED harshly and often ( I was a preschool teacher and I knew EVERYTHING)  I am sorry I judged you.  Being a great teacher doesn’t necessarily mean you will be a great mommy. 

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When Katy was born she wasn’t allowed to nurse for the 1st 5 days of life…  nothing by mouth.  So she has the need to suck and I was so thankful for the invention of the binky so  had something to do to try and comfort my helpless baby when all she wanted to do was suckle.  She then became so attached to  those neon green pieces of rubber have gotten us all through some difficult times.

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Last year we made a deal with Katy.  We told her once she got her heart transplant, we would send the binkies to the other kids that needed them.  I made that deal thinking that surely she would have received her new heart by now and this would all be behind us.  Well the heart is taking a bit longer than we expected and now we have a 4 year old still has a damn binky, and the buck teeth to match.

So last night I told Katy if I see that binky one more time and you are not in bed… I am taking ALL the binkies and the there will be no more binkies.  Well don’t you know 5 minutes later there she was doing her best Maggie Simpson impression.

There was no reasoning, there was no lets talk about this, there was no making a good choice.  This MAMA LOST her shit.  I ripped the binky out of her hand and took my scissors and sniped the tip off.  (Relax there are a 101 more binkies where that came from).

Well, my feisty girl then went on to completely loose her shit… screaming,running from one end of the house to the other end, slamming doors along the way.  The feisty that I am so proud of that I believe has gotten her this far in life was now being used against me.  As she was grasping for breath (not really, grasping but you know what you do when you cry to much) and yelling, but mama you said I could have my binkies until my heart transplant.

By this point I am in a puddle of tears ( my own) and I am feeling weak and I am feeling like I am ripping the only comfort that my girl knows.  She doesn’t have a blanket or favorite stuffed animal she loves her binks. Why am I doing this? Am I doing it so I don’t get judged for a walking talking  binky sucking 4 year old?  Or because I know the oral surgeon is going to be all over me? To be honest, I think it was a combination of those and a few other things.

Well I had choice to make, I could be a hard ass and take all the binkies and we would all have a few sleepless nights, or I can go back to what has worked so well for us these past 4 years and hug it out, talk rationally and come up with a plan we can all be happy with.

I consulted the experts, you know my mama friends on Facebook.  I had a wide variety of responses from various mamas, there were heart mamas, new mamas, nurse mamas, veteran mamas and the consensus was let her have the damn binky. She has enough to deal with.  We have bigger battles to fight, etc. etc. Basically told me everything I already knew and needed to hear.

So we sat down with Katy and told her she could have her binkies in bed. If they come down stairs mama is going to snip the tip! 

She was good with that plan, even showed me her shy smile, or maybe that was a victory smile.

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Sunday, March 18, 2012

Scrapbook Sunday Week 2

Can you believe it… a challenge I started and that I am actually going to see through…at least through to week 2.

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I am happy to say that all 116 pages are in their protectors and in 3 albums!!  Looking awesome on my shelf.  Next up Finishing touches on Katy’s 1year album!!

DISCLAIMER: I surf the net and many scrapbooking blogs, boards etc. I am 99.9% none of these pages are my original design… I am sure I saw them somewhere, or they are my interpretation of a sketch. I am not a professional scrap booker… although I would like to be! I don’t list supplies and keep track of what came from where… that would take away valuable time that I can spend creating.
If you have a question… feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer you.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

A Direct Ticket to Heaven

Or maybe she said an express ticket.  Regardless of the wording a dear family friend…. I mean maybe my aunt…no that’s not it… aunt in law… aunt by marriage.  With big Irish families it’s sometimes hard to know who is who.  Regardless, she is a lovely lady who has know me since I was a babe  playing in the very same back yard that my two babes played in this afternoon.
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She has watched me as I have navigated through this journey into motherhood.  As I said she is twice removed so not in on the everyday life and sees us only a handful of times a year.  Of course she always asks how Katy is and tells me how great she looks…(even though personally I think Miss Katy is looking a little pale, and I wonder if something is brewing, but then again when am I not wondering that)  She tells me how Patrick is my mini me.  We chat we talk small talk.
Today though, she took it a step past our usually chit chat and told me that she was amazed by my strength and my ability to smile and enjoy everything in spite of all that I am up against. Her comment took me by surprise.  I do have an interesting and complex situation and I do my best to face it gracefully.   The reason it surprised me is what little I really know about this pseudo aunt I know that she has faced her share of heart ache.  Lost her husband has physical limitations things that  I think I could never handle.  Yet, she always has a smile and kind words for me.   She went as far to tell me that I had a fast pass to heaven. 
Why do I have a fast pass to heaven?! Is it for loving this sweet blue eyed Irish Princess?
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Because loving her is easy… it’s the fear of not having her here to love that is unbearable at times.  That is the reason that I find it hard to get out of bed some mornings. or fall asleep some nights, or find myself with tears streaming down my face as I braid her hair.
I don’t know what the reason is or if there is such a thing as a fast pass… but I do know that I am doing a good enough job keeping it together the best I can to give these two miracles the best life I can.
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She also told me to thank god for Mike… she gets what a wonderful and awesome man he is.  Not only as their daddy, but as my husband.  She recognizes that he may very well be the glue that is keeping us together.
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I think he is the one getting the fast pass to heaven and hopefully I  will be able to slide in on his coat tails.
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The love he has for the three of us is immeasurable and the strength he gives me daily is noticeable to those around us.
Look who finally let us get him a hair cut…
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Peace Out
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Sunday, March 11, 2012

Scrapbook Sunday

I got this idea for a Scrapbook Sunday series from another blogger, she shares the pages she has worked on during the week on Sunday.
I am really hoping to get some use out of my Craft tab.  I have been cruising through pages these past few weeks and I am excited to share them with you.
DISCLAIMER:  I surf the net and many scrapbooking blogs, boards etc. I am 99.9% none of these pages are my original design… I am sure I saw them somewhere, or they are my interpretation of a sketch.  I am not a professional scrap booker… although I would like to be!  I don’t list supplies and keep track of what came from where… that would take away valuable time that I can spend creating.
If you have a question… feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer you.
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