Saturday, November 30, 2013

30 Days of Thanks: Epic Fail

 

I completely failed at posting a daily Facebook status stating what I was thankful for everyday in November.  Last year I posted religiously.  I remember I had to find just one thing to be thankful for, and that some how by sharing it on Facebook it would make me feel more grateful and therefore more worthy.  If I was willing to be thankful for mundane things like coffee as well as the fact that Katy was healthy enough to be home on Milrinone…. that maybe somewhere in the universe or wherever it was that decisions were being made on my little girls behalf.  They would see that we are good and we are grateful, humble people.

It also gave me an outlet to let those who I so desperately wanted to acknowledge that I needed to let them know how much they meant to our family during our darkest days. 

I guess what I am saying is that last year I needed the rigidness of some sill Facebook game to remind me to stop and think what I was thankful for.   If I were to play along this year…every day would have been the same or a variation of the following. 

Today I am thankful for Katy’s New Heart.

Today I am thankful for our amazing donor family…. who during there darkest moment unselfishly made the choice to save our little girls life.

Today I am thankful that Katy & Patrick are home playing together.

Today I am thankful we are all under the same roof.

Today I am thankful the most perfect heart came in time.

I don’t need a 30 days of Thanks Facebook game for a daily reminder.  I think of those things EACH and EVERY day.  Multiple times a day… I don’t think that there is a day that passes that I don’t think of how very blessed our family is.  How amazing it is that with the love and support of our village we were able to get to this side of transplant.  A side that due to lack of available organs so few actually get to see how wonderful this life is. 

So don’t think that because I didn’t call your name out on FB this year that I am not thankful for you…. because I am.  Life is just really busy when you have a Healthy 4 & 5 year old.

DSC_0855

Watching Sophia The First…cuddled in bed! Right where we all belong!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Blog Your Heart|November 2013

6a00e551ef15fe8834019b01756100970c-400wi

I found this on another blog and thought it would be a good way to ease back in to blogging. 

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. It can be serious, silly, short, long. NOTE:no one said it has to be serious. But it should be authentic.

3. No judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive aggressive digs. Nothing here is whining, though I can't help it if you perceive it that way. It's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

I have taken a break…  for a few reasons.  The first reason is that I just have not had the time… our life has just exploded and we are BUSY! Our little Kindergartener has a full social calendar… that combined with me working a few days a week and moving/unpacking…a couple holidays and BOOM! No time for to blog! 

Another reason is that I have struggled if I would even come back and blog.  Mike and I have made the decision to remove some people from our life.  Again never an easy decision but some times necessary. It is especially difficult when those people are family. That said our lives are so much better and more peaceful for it.  However, I know that one of them actively reads my blog and it annoyed me… not sure why. 

Then I found out she was posting on Facebook about our family.  She posted about Katy’s heart transplant garnering sympathy and support.  It made me physically ill… Never calling or checking in. This is the same person who once when angry with me told me that it was Karma and that is why Katy was sick.  Katy was 2 years old at the time.  Who says that?!  It takes a certain kind of horrible to bring children into an argument, but to bring a sick child into it… I mean really I basically have no use for you at that point.

So that made me question what I share here and if I wanted to continue sharing knowing she was reading here.  Again Mike and I talked and Mike reminded me that I blog for me, as a record for our family, I blog for family who we love and who love our family and genuinely care about us and want to get updates and see pictures.  I blog for all that have loved and prayed for our family and our sweet girl and continue to pray for us. 

With that the decision was made to continue to keep the blog.