First Dance Class

I am beaming as I write this. Seriously, I can’t wipe the smile off my face. Katy had her first dance class today. Ballet/tap for 3 year olds at the local dance studio.

Katy was so very excited to go. She patiently let me do her hair this morning, she practiced all her dance moves, and could hardly wait to get into the studio. ( I was pretty excited too… I know lame… I am so lame… I am such a cliché … such a helicopter mom… I am now a Dance Mom and couldn’t be happier or prouder of my girl)

I was so worried she wouldn’t go without me, that there would be tears, she wouldn’t want to wear the ballet slippers/tap shoes, that she wouldn’t participate.

I am happy to say, I worried for NOTHING!!

My girl was born to dance…

She went right in… didn’t even need a pep talk or kisses, she was ready to dance.

Kate was so confident and comfortable. Following directions, enjoying herself, having fun doing 3 year old things!!

Her teacher Miss Sharon is awesome!! We already LOVE her!!

Keeping in true cliché fashion…

“ And if you get the choice to sit it out or dance,

I hope you dance. I hope you dance”

Who knew Library Story Hour would be so hard…

for this mama!

Wakefield has an AWESOME Story Hour for babes to 5 year olds.

I decided to take advantage of it, Patrick on Tuesdays and Katy on Fridays.

Seeing Katy with a group of her peers I realized how different my girl is.

Her special heart make her small…so small for her age, her doctor doesn’t even give us the growth charts anymore since she isn’t even on them.

She has the ambition of a 30 pound 3 year old but the gross motor skills of a 20 pound 12 months old.

Breaks my heart… actually have shed tears.

Thankfully, she is oblivious to the differences for now.

Tomorrow Katy has her first ballet/tap class. I’m so excited, and a bit nervous for the reasons mentioned above.

I know one way or another my girl is going to ROCK it out!!

243 Days

243 days since Katy was listed for a new heart.

243 days of worry.

243 days of uncertainty.

243 days of praying.

243 days of smiles.

243 days of tears.

243 days of jumping EVERYTIME the phone rings.

243 days of questioning if this is really needed.

243 days of accepting that this needs to happen.

243 days of learning to love our new normal.

243 days of Why us?

243 days to learn our new normal?

243 days embracing the journey.

243 days of milestones passed .

243 days of accepting our reality.

243 days of planning for the unknown.

243 days of hoping for a miracle

243 days of hope

243 days of being thankful that we have been able to wait this long at home.

243 days of sadness

243 days of happiness

243 of anger

243 of laughter

243 days of loving our girl.

Katy was listed for a new heart 8 months ago. On June 29th it was decided that the best course of treatment for our sweet Kate and her special heart would be a new one. It was speculated that she would have her new heart within 4-6 months, although the average wait time for her age and status is 6-12 months. We thought were told she would have her new healthy heart by Christmas. We thought by this time, Katy and her new heart would be living the new chapter in our lives.

We never guessed she would be thriving and living life at home with her special heart.

I am so thankful for this borrowed time. Since this is the life and heart I know. For the most part I know what we are up against.

I am afraid of what a new heart means for Katy.

New fears… handing my baby girl over to the surgeons to crack her chest open, place her on bypass, hold her little heart(s) in his capable hands, pray that her new heart starts beating right when its supposed to, seeing my darling daughter on a ventilator,again (the picture of her on that at 3 weeks old still haunts my memory) praying she recovers fully, and without setbacks, caring for her chest wounds, new meds, and of course our biggest fear REJECTION!

I don’t know when her new heart will come. No one does. I pray it comes soon. I pray that Katy is able to continue to wait at home with us.

Dreams do come true…

Sometimes I get so caught up in the… what should have been.

The this wasn’t my plan.

That I forget, that right now in this very moment I am LIVING the Dream!

The exact dream…

I am married to a wonderful man. A man that loves me unconditionally, and still treats me like the princess I was so many years ago.

I am a mom, to two beautiful kids. That brighten even my darkest days. Seriously… they are AWESOME! My dream was always to be a mom. I am thankful each and every day that my dream came true. ( I still remember the years we struggled to have a family, and I thought that my most important dream wouldn’t come true, and then I was happily blessed with a sweet baby girl, and the most wonderful little boy…Dreams do come true.)

I dreamed since I was maybe 8 years old that I would have a little “girly” girl who loves dressing up, having her hair done, and GASP! Playing with mommy’s make up!! (As you can see from the photo’s above… that dream came true)

I don’t know who this girl is…

But, I love it!

Katy has been eating up a storm! I mean my goodness… her appetite is back and in full force. Mike and I couldn’t be happier. We both keep saying to each other “Look at her eat!”

*****************************************************************************************Apparently doing the above is the new blogging trend for switching topics…

******************************************************************************************Katy’s hair is getting so long…finally!!!

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I love that Katy & Patrick LOVE each other. I have never met two siblings that get along as well as K & P. They are so loving, caring and kind to one another. Makes me one proud and happy mama!

*****************************************************************************************Introducing the Next American IDOL… (Please read in your best Ryan Seacrest voice)

They are usually in bed before American Idol.

Tonight we got home late, and they were playing nicely so they were up when it came on.

Patrick ran to get the microphones…then they both proceeded to sing, and jam out along with the American Idol contestants.

Look out America… I see a new generation of Donnie & Marie Osmond

Over Share

To much info is shared, some things are better left unsaid.

Facebook Status’

What if my status read” I ‘m constipated!”?

How much is too much?

Family Finances?

Your Sex Life?

I am an over sharer by nature hence the blog and the need to update my Facebook status 15X a day!

I am not easily offended.

Some of the things I see shared on FB is too much for even me.

I am offended.

Maybe I am not offended, maybe more like annoyed, or embarrassed for them.

Those people need a blog!

Treat people the way you want to be treated?

For as long as I can remember… everything I do ok almost everything I do is for the wrong reason. OK maybe not everything, and maybe not almost everything, but A LOT of what I do is for the wrong reason.

The wrong reason being that I am under the belief that if I do this, or I treat people this way that my actions will control the actions of those around me. I wholeheartedly believed that if I treated people the way I want to be treated then they would do the same for me. Eh… that is so not the case.

Sometimes, it’s a good thing that people don’t always treat me the way I treated them… since I am human and I make mistakes, thankfully those mistakes aren’t always held against me.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. I am learning that I can’t control how others treat me or perceive me. I can only control what I do, and how I treat others. My kindness, or hospitality shouldn’t be decided on the idea of you do for me as I do for you… does that make sense.

So maybe I should only do things that I want to do… I should do what is best for me and my family. Screw everyone else? I don’t see that happening, since I hardly thing that is what life is about and certainly not what I want to teach my children.

But, sadly some people do live their lives that way. Maybe I need to remember that before I make sacrifices and go out of my way for them… I am sure my energy would be better spent on those who truly appreciate and can reciprocate the same to me and my family.