Hurry Up and Wait

February 12 2013

So once I realized that yes this was the call, and once I stopped jumping and dancing around with Patrick.  I called my dad to tell him it  was GO time.  That conversation went a little something like this:

Dad: “Hell-O”  if you know my dad you know how he says hello

Me: (in my most calmest voice ever… think soothing a baby during a yoga class) “Hi dad, what’s up?  Where are you?

Dad:  “not to much, work”

Me: “oh, OK, so we got the call for Katy’s new heart”

Dad” “……………when, what, Ok what should I do… OK so do I have time to take the dog out… OK wait why are you so calm.  Amiee, you are being really calm.

Me: “You have time to take out the dog, Mike is on the way home with Kate… we are going to pack a bag and head in. I will call you when we are heading in.  You call Tracy. “

Dad: “Ok, I am going to clean up here, take out the dog and we will head in when you call us. Are you sure you are OK?

Me:”Yes, Dad I am OK really happy, really ready, it’s time.

Once my dad was in the car on his way home he called me again just to make sure I was OK.  Everyone (including myself) expected me to be freaking out, and I wasn’t.  I was ready. Was I afraid sure, but I was more afraid of what would happen if this call didn’t come in time. Mostly I was incredibly thankful, hopeful and maybe a bit excited. 

I can tell you and my cousin Darlene will agree… I can not pack under pressure. LOL! I was walking around the house throwing random things in bags. 

So after dropping off Patrick to my dad and Tracy (they were bringing him to Krissie’s)  Saying goodbye to Patrick was one of the hardest parts of this process.  Watching him and Katy say goodbye and kiss and hug and share I love yous was hard for this mama’s heart.  But, I believed that they would be back together soon so I had to focus on that.

We got to the hospital headed to the floor and were greeted by some of our favorite people.  The nurses and staff on 8 East.  I thought it was fitting that Maura, Katy’s very first nurse on 8 East when she was 7 Days Old was her nurse today.  Full Circle.  I like full circle.

There was a lot of paper work to sign and people to meet with.  A lot of information to take in. 

Katy did a lot of this:

Mike and I did a lot of this:

We did some visiting with family and then everyone left to get some rest… My dad, Tracy and Krissie would be back at 4AM.  Mike went and slept and I cuddled up with my girl.  There would be no sleep for me.  I told Katy the plan and what she had to do and that we loved her and couldn’t wait to do all the things she wanted to do.  I wished I could sleep, just to pass the time, but I saw every 15 minutes. I felt every emotion one person could feel.   I was happy that this day I had prayed and hoped for had finally come.  I was sad for the family that was grieving the loss of their precious child.  I was angry that this had to be at all, why did my girl have to go through this.  I was scared, what if the surgery was not successful.

At 4AM once everyone was back the amazing Dr. Fynn Thompson came up to chat with us.  This amazing man was such a comfort to me.  I knew that Katy would be safe in his care.  This is the man that would hold both of my daughters hearts in his hands.  The one the beat inside of me for 35 weeks, the one that has gotten her this far, and the other that would beat on inside of Katy for hopefully many many years to come.

Almost Go Time…