Monday, August 02, 2010

Mckmama Fan Vs. Anti Mckmama

Why I was a fan of Mckmama

Part 1

I have referred to the blogger Jennifer Mckinney AKA Mckmama the author of the blog My Charming Kids. I “met” Jennifer a little over a year ago. I came across her blog via another heart blog. She was asking for prayers for her sweet little boy Stellan who was born with a Congenital Heart Defect. They live in the Midwest and were receiving cardiac care at our very own Children’s Hospital, Boston.

At the time I totally felt connected to her, she was living and feeling what I have felt since Kathryn was in my tummy. I was also drawn to her bright colorful photographs of her beautiful children,and her creative writing. When she wrote her feelings and fears…I just felt connected not only as a baby wearing, breast feeding, picture taking, blogging, teacher, mommy…but also as a fellow heart mom. Because even though at that time (and truth be known I still resent that I am one) I am a heart mom, and I do believe that us heart moms need to stick together, as do moms in general.

Anyway, I was a Mckmama Fan…I checked her blog daily…sometimes multiple times a day. Looking for an update on her sweet baby. I prayed for her, for Stellan, and her family at home.

On one of her trips to Boston, alone with Stellan at Children’s I contacted her via Facebook, since she had said that she was sick of Au Bon Pain and hospital food and offered to bring her up a meal. Since I know first hand how tiring the food at Children’s can get and I also thought that maybe a fellow heart mom might be a comfort to her during a difficult time. (She was all alone, I can’t imagine doing it alone)

So I headed up with lunch a few magazines and a gift for Stellan. Drove to Boston headed to 8 South (Cardiac ICU) stopped at the desk asked them to let Jennifer Mckinney know that I was there. They called Stellan’s nurse and she responded that Mrs. McKinney is not taking visitors. WHAT?! I just emailed her that I was coming, arranged childcare for my two kids and headed in to Boston. OK, well life in CICU changes in a moment,and maybe she was busy with the doctors or maybe Stellan wasn’t doing well. I left her lunch and gifts and went on my way.

I didn’t do any of that for a thank you… I didn’t do it for praise… I did it because it’s what I would hope would be done for me. If I was in a strange city, in a hospital, alone with my baby without my husband.

Was I disappointed that she didn’t take the time to let me know she had at least gotten it? When I saw that she had time to blog and FB about other things…a bit. Considering I did email her to make sure she got it. But, I digress… That has nothing to do with why I am now Anti Mckmama…

I will have to save that for Post 2…since I am blogging from the car and starting to feel a bit car sick!!

Part 2

So where was I….oh yeah! Why I am now Anti Mckmama… I guess I don’t know if that is really true. I do follow the Mckmama Without Pity more often than I do Jennifer’s blog…I guess I like the gossip and drama!!

I do wonder why so many people myself included care about what drives Jennifer to blog, and if it is all true. Really what difference does it make?! Why do we care, its her blog she can do with it what she wishes.

Clearly she is doing something right since she has a large following and is able to provide enough for her family so both her and her husband can stay home (this is not a proven fact… this is my interpretation of things I have read about her)

Maybe, people are jealous…damn, I wish my blog could support my family! I am excited if I get one comment. HA!

I know for me… I became questionable of her and her motives and went from a fan to almost anti….when she was really dramatizing Stellan’s heart condition.

I felt she was playing on my emotions and although I have no doubt that Stellan’s heart condition was in fact serious. He was healed. The doctor’s were able to fix his heart so he was no longer a sick CHD baby! Amazingly wonderful news. News that most heart moms (and dads) never hear. Since a lot of CHD’s are not curable.

The fact that Stellan is healthy and has been for quite sometime, and she still has up the pray for Stellan button with the picture of him at his sickest, is disturbing to me. I have similar pictures of Katy… from when she was very sick… I can barely look at them let alone post them to my blog. (I suppose I would if they were the only pictures I had…thankfully they aren’t)

So that is my humble opinion on Mckmama… Maybe you have never even heard of her…and I am just generating more traffic to her blog… if that’s the case…”your welcome, Jennifer” since I know you are much to busy to thank me!


Anonymous said...

Hi, I found you through your updates on the bump. I agree 100% about Mckmama. My thoughts are with you and your family. You're a great mom and you are doing everything right for your daughter. Katie

Lauren said...

Wow, what a powerful statement!! Working a 50+ hour week doesn't leave me a lot of time at the end of the day or the beginning to catch up with people. However, I have so many questions and thoughts for you! Like, how's Katy and Patrick? How are you and Mike? What's the next step for Katy? How was the meeting with Make a Wish? and how is the house hunting? I just wish we could find a time to sit with a drink and catch up...I miss you!

Stephy Lyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephy Lyn said...

Wow Amiee! I am so sorry you have had to deal with this. People like that do not deserve the attention and I thank you for bringing that to our attention. You are such a wonderful person. There are not many people in this world who do good things without seeking praise and I thank you for being someone who does things because you should and not for the praise.

dkmissie said...

huge huggs.I understand how you feel.Oh and nice to meet you

Anonymous said...

You have every right to have such feelings & suspicions about Mckmama. Your feelings are justified & shared by many, and growing daily. I think her house of cards will tumble down soon. It is like a train wreck waiting to happen.

Anonymous said...

You weren't the only one fooled.

I'm actually horrified by how you were treated by her in Boston! And with nary a thank you from her is shameful!

I never took pictures of my son when he was in hospital only when he was out. I can barely look at even those pictures when he looked so ill. That praying for Stellan button showing him at his worst has disturbed me greatly especially because he is so healthy looking now.

All the best to you and your family! Your blog is delightful!


Anonymous said...

Here from MWOP! Your blog is adorable but your children even more so!
Your story is all to familiar. Not sure what drives people to the brink of such greed and nasty behavior. Hopefully with the birth of her 5th child in 5 years she will put down the phone and her ipad and focus on the kids, her marriage and her finances.
I appreciate that you told your story. I hope more people do so they won't feel alone. You were used in Boston and that is just wrong. And I know you didn't do it for acknowledgement but still... Common courtesy is sure appreciated.
Best of luck to you and your family.

Nicolette said...

Kudos to you. I agree 100% with you!!!!! Mckmama is a phoney and a liar. She disgusts me. On the other hand, you appear to be a wonderful mom and your kids are GORGEOUS!!!

Taylor said...

wow, that was so incredibly rude of Jennifer to have told the desk that she wasn't taking visitors when she was expecting you, but of course she could take your gifts. You did a wonderful thing by taking time out of your day to go there, and arrange childcare for your kids, and to buy her lunch and gifts. She is a poor excuse for a human being. The least she could have done was to answer your email and confirmed that she did in fact receive your gifts.

Were you the same local Amiee that participated in the "care calendar" signing up to bring her stuff in Boston?

ChocolateDiva said...

Don't feel so badly, you did a nice thing for her, because you are apparently a good person. My kids and I don't live local, but we did mail some giftcards to Jennifer as well as some handmade cards and a handknitted blanket for Stellan.
We didn't do any of that for getting praise either, but she never did acknowledge anything. She lacks in manners.

It disgusts me that she keeps the photo of Stellan shown on a vent, and covered in tubes and wires on her blog. It's disturbing to see her use her son's FORMER medical crisis to get attention for herself. He is cured now. She should count her lucky stars and perhaps donate some money to Boston Children's or do something for the kids on the cardiac ward.

When I found the MWOP site, I learned there was so much more about this lady that I never knew. Her web of lies is just shocking, and now I have just lost all respect for her.

Melinda said...

I admire your ability to blog fearlessly!

Anonymous said...

What a lovely gesture you made! I'm sorry a simple "Thanks" was too much for the Great MckMama.

Violet said...

♥ to you Aimee, nice to meet you and I am sorry you had such an experience with Mckmama.

Anonymous said...

I saw this as well in the thread at Mckmama's.

I think it took a lot of guts to say what you did. While I disagree with you, I think the way you worded things was still in a polite manner but honest in the way you felt.

I can't really say anything about what happened at the hospital since I simply wasn't there.

I am so sorry you feel "taken" by Jennifer! I've never experienced any of the things that others have said they no thank you, rude responses, etc. I've always gotten quite the opposite even when I disagreed with her.

Take care!

~Debra at

Anonymous said...

Here from MWOP & I am horrified that she didn't have the good grace to thank you in any way shape or form. You are obviously a kind & generous person who deserves the same in return. I'm sorry that happened to you. I agree with everyone else that your kiddos are ADORABLE! Wishing all the best to your sweet family.

Anonymous said...

How RUDE of her. She is so terrible ungrateful. ((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

I guess I don't understand....if you didn't expect anything in return, why are you upset that you didn't receive the proper credit or thank yous or whatever that you think you should have received?

Don't get me wrong, I think it was nice and sweet what you did...but if you didn't expect anything in return, why be upset when you didn't get anything in return for your action?

Anonymous said...

To the previous anonymous:
I'm sure she expected some acknowledgment. She said, "I didn’t do any of that for a thank you… I didn’t do it for praise…"

That wasn't her reason for doing her gesture of kindness, no. But can you honestly tell me that she, or you, or anyone, would not expect an adult to say thank you for such a selfless deed? Really? I would expect it. I wouldn't expect it from a child under five, maybe.

Do you understand that doing a kindness solely for recognition and expecting some sort of response are not the same thing?

Tara said...

I completely agree with you about Mckmama! I am a former follower who prayed for her son and admired her but it didn't take me long to see the light. There are just too many lies and too much rudeness and acting like she is better than everyone else. It is such a turn off! After reading this it just makes me sick for you. To go through what you did to get to her and be a shoulder and for her to not even email you back...that is just plain tacky! I can understand Stellan's condition changing but she could certainly shoot you an email to let you know she had received the gifts. Best wishes to you. You have a beautiful blog and beautiful children!

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Anonymous said...

Hey - I am certainly happy to find this. great job!

Aileigh said...

So glad to know I am not alone. What a horrid story! I didn't go to quite as much trouble as you did... I would be very upset with my children for not even acknowledging such a kind gesture. I wonder about the integrity of people who "expect" those sorts of things. You have a very gracious heart.

Not a CHD mom, but a Preemie mom. And a new follower. :)

Thanks for putting into words what I have been struggling with since the whole domestic violence issue came to light. Looking forward to getting to know your family!

Natalia said...

Wow, I had no idea this woman had such a following from both people who love her and people who don't.

Anonymous said...

Here is the latest on MckMama. She is quite the talk on the internet.