Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Surreal

I really don’t know how else to describe what our life is like right now… although I suppose at times it feels more like a nightmare than a dream.

Katy is officially on the transplant list. She is currently listed as a 1B. As excited I am at the thought of a new (well new to us) healthy heart beating in my Katy girls chest… I am scared worried, sad, angry,hopeful and every other emotion that you can imagine I am feeling or I have felt.

I am scared because my sweet beautiful girl has a long road ahead of her.

I am worried, what if the perfect heart for Katy doesn’t come in time.

I am sad for all Katy and our entire family has to endure. I’m sad that we will live in fear of rejection for the rest of our lives.

I am angry…for so many reasons. Trying to be positive right this moment. So I will leave my anger post for another day.

I am hopeful, because our team at Children’s gives us a lot of hope that Kathryn will be very successful post transplant and will go on to live a full and happy life.

Right this moment, I am a bit anxious we are headed to Katy’s first benefit. Hosted by our Murphy/Mulkern family at The Shannon Door. The very talented Jimmy Keys volunteered his time, to do a very special kids show in honor of Katy. I am overwhelmed with their generosity and love, and know that there will be a lot of talk about our Rock Stars heart (obviously) and even though we have been living it for years now…sometimes my emotions become overwhelming.

Looking at today as a day to celebrate our little girl and her special heart!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amiee,

I dont know you your family or Katy, but last night while I was workiing at Tedeschi's in Dracut a very nice young man came into the store looking for a toothbrush, When I was trying to help him find one (which we were out of) I noticed he was wearing 2 pink bands. I notice these things as for years I wore a gray band on my arm. I asked about them and who Katy is, He explained that she is a beautiful 2 yr old who needs a heart and reached in his pocket took out his phone and showed me a picture of her. How could I help but smile at how beautiful she really is. About 20 minutes later he returned to the store handed me a card with this link and a pink band. He told me to go the blog read it and after that to wear the band. I asked him how much for the band he said nothing you asked about it and that is enough I said no how much and paid him. I put the band on right there and on my wrist it will now stay. I will think of you your family and Katy every day and follow the blog to make sure that Katy continues to be a rockstar and pray that her perfect heart comes very very soon. I hope that last night was a success and that you all enjoyed it.

Amiee, this is a trick that I did for 7 yrs and shared with others who wore the gray bands as I wore. Its for you and your husband. When things get out of control and you are feeling as if you cant stand it anymore step outside take a deep breath and scream as loud and as long as you can. I know it sounds crazy but trust me it works. It lets out all the anger and frustration and makes you feel better.

My best wishes and hopes for you your family and mostly for Katy.

Michelle

Anonymous said...

I would like to exchange links with your site murphy216.blogspot.com
Is this possible?