Sunday, May 26, 2013

Judgmental

I apologize in advance this post may have some vulgar language.  I have since calmed down a bit….but just thinking about it my blood pressure is creeping back up.

Let me preference this with I am not perfect… I have done my fair share of judging.  I judged moms (before I was a mom for feeding their kids nothing but CRAP!, not using car seats correctly or properly fact of the matter is I still judge on this one.  PLESAE put your kid in a proper car seat your 4/5 year old child should not be using a booster with a regular seatbelt. ARGGGGGG but I digress.   I know that I have judged when I saw kids over age 2 with a bottle or a binky and kids older than 5 cruising  around in stroller. Since having kids I have become a lot less judgmental. because for the most part this is a hard job and we are all doing the best we can.  ( I still judge on the car seats and the beautiful bald babies that don’t have a HAT on… oh your forgot the sunscreen….no worries.  I am always certain to have 3 or 4 bottles… lotion/spray/ stick let me lather your little translucent child up… I bet I even have an extra hat in this Mary Poppins bag of mine.  At this point I am not judging you I am banding together a mama helping a fellow mama…because chances are I forgot the Goldfish crackers.

However today… Today I was judged. I was judged in a sensitive swap…and for maybe the first time in my life I wanted to cause physical harm to another human being.  Quite possibly if Kathyrn wasn’t with me… I could be typing this from a jail cell.

We were at the Merrimack outlets today… because man the girl child HAS NO CLOTHES that fit her!! YAY for GREAT scores at Gymboree Prices we AWESOME! Didn’t make it to Carter/Disney…Rain was annoying.  Our last stop was Gap.

As I was walking into Gap pushing Kathryn in a Maclaren Umbrella Stroller ( so pretty compact but clearly she fit very well in) and yes my 5 year old had a FREAKING binky in her mouth. I know…. I judge myself….and we are working on it.  Binkys are only for naps/cars/hospital and she was planning on a nap in the stroller (which she did take)

Katy doesn’t have a lovely or a favorite blanket she has her binkys they are her source of comfort.

Anyway, as we are walking in this older woman mid 60’s says to her friend behind her but really to me since the doors were being held open to let me and my teenager in the stroller through… Really like that’s necessary and looked at my girl Katy with such a look of disgust…. Katy who was rocking her most adorable pink sparkle shoes and loving life.  I don’t know what the heck happened.  I LOST MY EVER LOVING MING and in that moment felt I could cause physical harm to another human being.    Worse… I left Katy in the entrance of the Gap and followed the inconsiderate bitch out to scream WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME OR MY DAUGHTER….SHE JUST HAD A Flipping Heart Transplant 12 weeks ago and has done more in her 5 years than you will ever do in all your years you miserable old WITCH….and then I went back and got my daughter and followed her out.

If I didn’t have Katy with me or if Mike was with me to watch Katy the ending would have been different.  I don’t know how… but I know I would have had more to say to that judgmental bitch.

Please we all have our struggles… lets not tear each other down.

 

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Sometimes we have to stick up for our kids, especially our heart babies. I haven't heard any comments about David yet because he's pretty normal but if I ever did I am sure I would go off too.

Anonymous said...

I am very thankful that you wrote this post! Although I do not have any children of my own, I will try not go judge anyone for I do not know their situation. This was definitely a good life lesson for me to read:) Thank you again for writing this post and I hope this never happens to you or Katy again!

All the best,
Maggie J.

Deborah Duquette said...

Excellent post...don't beat yourself up...you know...your mom...we do that...and honestly, I take my hat off to you for just refraining...lol...I am 60 years old...my JUDGEMENT HUMBLED ITSELF with life when I was transplanted....weird thing...I always defended people for as long as I can remember...now it is worse...never regret a decision you make...let it be a stepping stone to a more powerful decision later...I hope that as old as I get I never hurt someone like that...;(..<3<3

Deborah Duquette said...

Excellent post...don't beat yourself up...you know...your mom...we do that...and honestly, I take my hat off to you for just refraining...lol...I am 60 years old...my JUDGEMENT HUMBLED ITSELF with life when I was transplanted....weird thing...I always defended people for as long as I can remember...now it is worse...never regret a decision you make...let it be a stepping stone to a more powerful decision later...I hope that as old as I get I never hurt someone like that...;(..<3<3

Anonymous said...

Amiee:

I think it is sad that someone judged your sweet daughter, but at the same time, I have seen you judge Mckmama time and time again. Maybe now that you have been judged you can take a step back and think about all the awful things you have said on Mwop.