It has been a long time since I have updated this blog and I have lots of things to do and pictures to share. But, I just haven't been able to find the words. There has been nothing worthy of more than a Facebook photo or an Instagram picture.
Today, I am not sure I have words… but I have feelings. I am overwhelmed with emotions as I try to comprehend and make sense of a completely incomprehensible and senseless act.
Because I am friendly with a lot of families with medically complex children and specifically children with severe heart defects, I am more aware of and see first hand too many babies and young children taken from this earth much too soon. Especially in this past year. It seems the heart community has experienced a lot of loss and the loss of a child never gets easier and I will never ever find the words to say to a mama that has lost her baby.
The events of today and the lives of the twenty young children lost today feel different to me. These children died because of a senseless act of violence.
The tragedy that took place in Newtown, Connecticut has made me feel a wave of emotions. Emotions as a teacher, as a parent of a two young children, and also as a parent that has spent the last 3 years waiting for their daughter to receive a donor heart.
We have always said that we are not praying for something tragic to happen to a child, but that if tragedy were to strike, we hope and pray that in a moment of such horrific sadness the parents will be able to make the decision to give the gift of life through organ donation.
As I was watching the news unfold this morning and I was watching in horror… I was not thinking about potential donors. I was thankful to be hearing Katy & Patrick playing upstairs…putting on a puppet show. I was praying for those parents that were about to get the worst news of their life and wondering how they would move on from this day. I was thinking about all the Christmas presents they probably had wrapped and ready for Christmas morning… did they have brothers and sisters. How would they ever move on as a family. School should be a safe place…how many children are going to be afraid to go back to school on Monday. How many parents are going to decide that homeschool is best. What can we do to protect our children?
Then it was said… Mike said: “You know Amiee if we get the call this weekend. We’ll know where it came from.” Silence. What… I was shocked at the possibility and even more shocked that I didn’t think of it myself. Then I had to wrestle with the whole idea of how do we explain to Katy that the only reason she has a new heart is because of this horrific event.
I am praying for the parents tonight as they cry themselves to sleep.
I found this on FB and wanted to share:
We pray for children
who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.
And we pray, for those
who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers,
who never "counted potatoes,
who are born in places where we wouldn't be caught dead,
who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for children
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
Who sleep with the cat and bury goldfish,
Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money,
Who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink,
Who slurp their soup.
And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can't find any bread to steal,
who don't have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.
We pray for children
who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
and never rinse out the tub,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church or temple and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at
and whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren't spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for children
who want to be carried
and for those who must,
for those we never give up on
and for those who don't get a second chance.
For those we smother...
and for those who will grab the hand of anybody
kind enough to offer it.
We pray for children. Amen
