Or maybe she said an express ticket. Regardless of the wording a dear family friend…. I mean maybe my aunt…no that’s not it… aunt in law… aunt by marriage. With big Irish families it’s sometimes hard to know who is who. Regardless, she is a lovely lady who has know me since I was a babe playing in the very same back yard that my two babes played in this afternoon.
She has watched me as I have navigated through this journey into motherhood. As I said she is twice removed so not in on the everyday life and sees us only a handful of times a year. Of course she always asks how Katy is and tells me how great she looks…(even though personally I think Miss Katy is looking a little pale, and I wonder if something is brewing, but then again when am I not wondering that) She tells me how Patrick is my mini me. We chat we talk small talk.
Today though, she took it a step past our usually chit chat and told me that she was amazed by my strength and my ability to smile and enjoy everything in spite of all that I am up against. Her comment took me by surprise. I do have an interesting and complex situation and I do my best to face it gracefully. The reason it surprised me is what little I really know about this pseudo aunt I know that she has faced her share of heart ache. Lost her husband has physical limitations things that I think I could never handle. Yet, she always has a smile and kind words for me. She went as far to tell me that I had a fast pass to heaven.
Why do I have a fast pass to heaven?! Is it for loving this sweet blue eyed Irish Princess?
Because loving her is easy… it’s the fear of not having her here to love that is unbearable at times. That is the reason that I find it hard to get out of bed some mornings. or fall asleep some nights, or find myself with tears streaming down my face as I braid her hair.
I don’t know what the reason is or if there is such a thing as a fast pass… but I do know that I am doing a good enough job keeping it together the best I can to give these two miracles the best life I can.
She also told me to thank god for Mike… she gets what a wonderful and awesome man he is. Not only as their daddy, but as my husband. She recognizes that he may very well be the glue that is keeping us together.
I think he is the one getting the fast pass to heaven and hopefully I will be able to slide in on his coat tails.
The love he has for the three of us is immeasurable and the strength he gives me daily is noticeable to those around us.
Look who finally let us get him a hair cut…