Questioning Myself

You know, I really hemmed and hawed over posting the previous post.

Even now I am considering pulling it down. Then I remember reading Bold Blogging and thought if I am going to blog , the only way to do it is to keep it real for both me and my readers.

All in all my life is pretty awesome!  I have an amazing, supportive, and understanding husband.  You’ve seen my kids…they are FREAKING ADORABLE! But, it is not rainbows and puppy dogs all the time. 

So although 98% of the time my blogging will be of happy fun things my family and I are up to, I’m not going to be afraid to share the other 2% that are sometimes down right CRAPPY!

Let me tell you something that took a long time for me to learn.  If anyone says that their life is rainbows and puppy dogs ALL the time they are lying.  To both you and themselves. 

So I don’t know if I am going to follow up on my previous post, but I am certain that I will get through… I always do.

Post Traumatic Stress?

Could it be that two years later I am suffering from Post Traumatic Stress?

As you may or may not know Kate’s delivery and first few weeks of life were pretty traumatic, at the time I didn’t really think so, since I was too busy just trying to keep it together and get through my days.

Clinically Kate is doing FANTASTIC!!! Better then anyone had hoped. So why when I went up to visit the newest Murphy addition on Monday night, while he was so brand new mom and baby were still in recovery. Why, when I was driving home the 40 minutes or so in the rain, did I have a complete break down thinking about Kathryn’s “Birth” day?

I’ve been blessed with visiting many babies in the past two years, heck I even had a relatively normal delivery and hospital stay with Patrick. (You would of thought that if Post Traumatic Stress was going to roar its ugly head it would have been then)

I get home and I am a hot mess…My poor husband, what could he say… He was just as surprised as I was, I think he secretly hoped he had dodged that mess, and I was really Super Woman and would never ever bring up the fact that I had my baby, the baby I waited 6 YEARS to hold, the baby that was a miracle in every sense of the word, the baby that I did not loose to a miscarriage as I had done with the 4 previous pregnancies before her, the baby girl that was really mine that we had both dreamed and prayed for for the last 35 weeks ripped from my arms in recovery and taken by ambulance to Children’s Hospital in the snow without her mommy.

Why did that happen, why when I sit here typing I hear my sweet baby girl laughing and giggling with her daddy and sweet brother.

Why now?! Why when she just learned to say “Wuv you mommy” Music to my ears.

Kate is everything I could have hoped for and more. We have a fantastic life and try to live each day to its fullest. We have fun making lots of memories ( I have the 10,000 plus photos to prove it) Why am I even thinking about the memories I didn’t get to make with her and I cuddling in a hospital bed, why am I thinking about that my sweet baby girl didn’t get to eat for the first five days of her life, why am I thinking about her 1st bath given by a nurse being careful not to get her pic line wet. Why now?!

The bigger question is how do I get over this…How do I put this behind me?!

And the winner is…

Erin! I am very excited to make a banner for your little man! Please contact me with the details and we will get this made up and out to you ASAP!

Also, if anyone is interested in buying one please visit my Etsy shop Murphy Custom Creations where I have one for sale, of course color theme etc. can all be changed!! Mention this give away in a convo to me and I will donate the profit of that sale to Haiti Relief.

Disappointed

Yup, I am!  Don’t feel bad, just wanted to say I thought I would get more comments for my birthday banner giveaway!! I kept coming back and giving it more time.  Maybe I didn’t advertise it well enough, maybe it’s not as cute as I thought, maybe I am kidding myself and no one is reading my blog, and my dream of being the next MckMama is ridiculous!

I will not get discouraged, I will continue to blog and I will even continue to post Awesome Giveaways that I think are Awesome.

Even now after writing this post I can see the positive…There are 14 possible winners!!  That means those 14 people have an even better chance at winning!! See, if you look hard enough you can always find a positive!!!

OK off to calculate a winner!!!

Happy Birthday Patrick!

It was a year ago today that I was anxiously waiting to meet my baby boy.  Wondering who he would look like, would he have a lot of hear.  Would I be able to love another child as much as I love Kathryn.

Well Patrick entered this world at 11:28 PM after 15 hours of labor.  It was hard to tell who he  looked like, although he had my coloring.  He had lots of dark hair (maybe that attributed to all my heartburn) 

Patrick stole my heart within hours of his birth.

He is and has been such a happy easy baby.  He is my cuddle bug!  He loves his daddy and adores his big sister.

I laugh now when I think back to a conversation I had with my mom shortly before his arrival, about my genuine concern that there was no way I could love another baby as much as I love Kathryn.  My mom just laughed and told me not to worry about it.  She said she couldn’t explain it…but that I just would.

Well I am happy to report that my mom was right … there is something very special about a mama and her baby boy.  I can’t imagine my life without him.  He keeps us all laughing.

All about Patrick at  one year old:

Patrick weighs 22 lbs (he outweighs Kate by 2 lbs)

He is sporting size 12-18 months

Size 4 diapers

He LOVES playing with his big  older sister

He Loves rough housing with Daddy

He LOVES cuddling with mommy and his kisses are the best…a little wet, but the best!

He signs: "All Done” “More” and we are working on “drink”

He has taken a few steps, but much prefers to crawl.

He loves to eat: His current favorites are:

Raspberries, Bananas, and cheese

He is drinking well from a straw.

He loves all things music and with a beat.  He can find a beat in anything even the hum of the printer.

Celebrating his birthday is bitter sweet for me, as I am sure it is for many moms.  I am so happy and exciting to see what new things this next year brings.  But, I am also sad to see my baby growing up.  Looking forward to a fun filled year, with my little guy.

A few pictures from then and now…

Patrick’s Birthday GIVEAWAY

In honor of Patrick’s 1st Birthday!  I know can you believe he is ONE ALREADY!  I am giving away a Murphy Custom Creations  Custom Birthday banner! From my Shop

 Murphy Custom Creations

I have a great Year Stats post about the birthday boy…I will post later tonight!

Leave a message to be entered to win a banner for your next celebration.  We will discuss colors, theme and details once you win! Good Luck

PS  I didn’t forget about the Scrapbook Giveaway…I’ve just decided  to make it a BIGGER and BETTER Give Away! Stay Tuned!

Patrick’s First Birthday Party

Today we celebrated Patrick’s 1st birthday with our family and friends!  Patrick had a Winnie the Pooh theme, and really seemed to enjoy his day!  He is such sweet and happy baby.

I will save my sappy oh my goodness how is my baby boy one already?!  yadda yadda yadda  for Tuesday his actual birthday.

My Girl Kate

Kathryn just had her 2 Year Wellness Visit, sometimes its hard to believe that she is two, other times I can’t remember our life without her.

Today’s visit went well, Kathryn is weighing in at a steady 20 lbs…5th percentile, and she is in the 25 percentile for her height! I can’t believe my girl is on the charts!!! WOOHOO!

Maybe these experts know what they are talking about. Everyone told me that by the time Kate was 2 her Preemie status wouldn’t matter and she would be “caught” up. Its amazing since she didn’t walk until she was 17 MONTHS…she is now walking backwards, running and we are working on jumping!

Kathryn is chatting up a storm her newest favorites are

“Love You”

“Thank You”

She is sporting size 12 – 18 months depending on the line or style! Size 4 Shoes!

She loves to eat! Her current favorites are Guacamole, BEEF, Grilled Cheese, Waffles, raspberries, & yogurt!

She is a sassy little girl with a temper just like her mama!

She is a loving sister to Patrick, he loves her right back. When they aren’t fighting over a toy.

She adores her daddy, and thinks he hung the stars! It’s an amazing bond that Mike and Kathryn share.

It’s hard to believe that other then her weight she is a normal toddler.

When I think back to where we expected to be at this point in her life…2 major open heart surgeries, coming up on a third. It boggles my mind…she is such a blessing!

I’m thankful each and everyday for the gift that Kathryn is. She reminds me each day to live and enjoy life.

To take time to enjoy the little things!

Giving makes me Happy!

Well since reading this fabulous excited post from Christina over at We Five Kings, the winner of my 1st ever give away!

I am itching to give something else away!  I have 2 things in mind and can’t decide which to give away!

1st Choice is something for the little girl in your life

2nd Choice is something for the scrapbooker in your life

Which do you want me to post as the next giveaway in my blog?!

Leave me a comment tell me what the people want and I will post one or the other this week!

New Years Eve 2009

We originally had plans to celebrate new years eve with The Demarco Family, but due to a forecast of ALOT of snow (which turned out, not to be ALOT of snow) We opted to stay closer to home. 

Kris invited us over to celebrate with her and the Reis gang!

We had yummy Chinese food and had a lot of fun playing games and sipping champagne.

We had a great time! ( No we didn’t keep the kids up till midnight) They were snuggled up in their Pack N Plays!

I shared a kiss with my amazing husband at midnight…he still takes my breath away.  Hard to believe that this is the 10th New Years eve that we have celebrated together! We’ve been a We for over a decade!!!