Baking Cookies for Santa

We had so much fun decorating cookies for Santa.  Pictures speak for themselves!

Reminders

Sometimes, we all need reminders, gentle nudges to help put this into perspective.  Kate is home and on oral antibiotics to take care of what is brewing around that damn tube.  I’m sorry but I never wanted that damn tube, and it has been nothing but a headache since she got it.  Maybe it will be useful one day and I will be singing its praises but for now it is the damn tube.  ( which unfortunately, is how Katy sometimes refers to it as well… there are worse things she could be saying, ask me how I know)

Anyway, back to reminders… last night @ 11pm when I was changing Katy’s late night diaper ( sometimes she requires late night diaper changes, especially on her double diuretic days, especially on those nights I sneak her out of her bed to cuddle, or in this case see the little gift nana picked up for her while we were out shopping you know, the $2 princess compact that she just had to have and threw her very 1st (shopping with daddy) tantrum over.  Daddy held firm and didn’t give in.  So my mom and I went on search to find it at Target…just to see Katy’s sweet smile and hear her say “It’s just the one I wanted” . 

Remind me again where I was going with this… oh yes, so back to the diaper change that soaked through her onesie…which prompted complete pajama changing which gave me a good look at her g tube and I saw the dreaded drainage and redness,and Katy in her most convincing voice telling me “ Mama, my tube, I mean my button looks, good” Which she always says in hopes of me not further investigating or heaven forbid cleaning it.  And, I said Oh, Kate…and called for Mike with tears in my eyes, knowing what I was seeing and knowing that it most definitely meant a trip in to Children’s 1st thing in the morning, you know the morning when we were supposed to bake cookies, and make a last minute trip to Target for more Stocking stuffers, because you can never have enough Stocking Stuffers.

All I could do was hope and pray… that we caught it quick enough that oral antibiotics would be all our girl needed and that they would not admit her.  The thought of another Christmas at Children’s was way more than this mommy ( or daddy) could handle. 

So I waited patiently by the phone for updates from Mike, I rallied our prayer warriors and hoped and prayed for the best.  I bartered with God, that if he let this be simple, and let us have this Christmas at home, I would get out of my funk, stop being a Grinch and embrace the holiday spirit and focus on how very lucky we are.  Even though the one thing I want so badly, will not be under my tree.

It worked.  Katy’s G tube is infected, but we did catch it early. We are back on antibiotics, and Mike and Katy are on their way home.  When they arrive we will go back to our scheduled program of baking, and last minute trips to Target. 

The next couple of days will be busy, I am sure!  But, the good kind of busy.  Visiting with family and friends,  wrapping the last of the gifts, making a gingerbread house, reading fun Christmas stories,  watching K & P’s excitement Christmas morning, making memories!

I doubt I’ll have time to blog before the big day.  So just in case… I want to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas from me and my crew.

Katy is headed to Children’s

Please please please send any prayers and good thoughts our way. Katy's G tube site (feeding tube) looks infected (AGAIN) Mike just brought her in to Children's. Please pray that we caught it early enough and that she is not admitted 2 days before Christmas.

I am most certain none of us could survive that. Its been a long emotional week and I am coming undone.

Having a bad day!

Well today is one of those days…one of those bad, bad days! I have no desire to do anything.  Katy and her special heart is weighing heavy in my mind.

This time of year is especially difficult for me, due to Kathryn’s birth. Although, being the best day of my life, and it was.  It was also a very traumatic day for me.   This year it is especially difficult, because I fully expected Katy would have her new heart by now.   We are approaching our 5th month of being listed.  Many of the heart babies I know that have been transplanted all seemed to have their new heart by the third month. 

The average wait time is 6-12 months, that said Katy’s doctor expected it by Christmas as well, purely based on her experience, since there is NO WAY to predict when a heart will become available.

Although, Kathryn continues to be stable and her medicines keep her healthy.  I know she is getting sicker, I know she is no where close to gaining the amount of weight that she needs to be gaining.  I know our days are numbered.  It’s a horrible feeling.  What’s worse is I know Mike is feeling all these same feelings, which makes it even scarier, since he is usually the optimistic… she’ll be fine member of this team.

I also know that there is not a damn thing I can do about any of this. Which makes it 10x worse.

I also feel like as much as our friends and family try to relate, try to understand, that they really have no idea just how sick our little girl is, and how sad and painful and tiring our day to day life is.  I try to put a brave face on… but our life is very difficult.  I am sick of it.  I am sick of pretending we have everything under control… when in all reality I have never felt so out of control in my life.

No one is sleeping…even though I take enough sleep meds that should put a horse down.  Mike is balancing everything… there are many days I am just useless.  It makes me so ANGRY!!!!  I want to know what its like to just be normal… I hate that I will never ever know what normal is.

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Girl

Three years ago today, Miss Kathryn Marie Murphy entered this wonderful world at 1:47 pm with a sweet cry and a tuft of dirty blonde hair. On this day, Katy made me a mom.  I can honestly say that this was the BEST day of my life, a day I waited so very long for, and a day I will never forget.   I can’t remember what we did last week, but I can give you a play by play of Katy’s delivery.  It was a day filled with many emotions, and was most certainly unforgettable.

Since day one Katy has been a strong and amazing human being.  She has has made every. single. day. wonderful.  She is a joy to be around, and has a smile that lights up any room she is in.  I can not imagine a more kind and caring little girl.  

To say that Katy has been through a lot (medically) is a major understatement.  She has been through more than any child  should ever have to endure, and unfortunately has a long road ahead of her.  I am amazed at how well she handles her many doctors appointments, procedures, and daily medicine.   On my worst day, I think of Kate and how she handles all of this with such grace and I am reminded that if she can do this, so can I. 

All About Kate at 3 years old:

Weight: 23 pounds!!! Yup we have gained 3 pounds since June!

Height:  I’ll have to get back to you once she has her wellness visit, but judging from all her shirts which are turning into belly shirts, I’d say she sprouted up a bit.

Favorite Color:  Pink ( purple is a close second)

Favorite Store: Target

Favorite Restaurant: Outback

Favorite Toy: Minnie Mouse

Favorite Book:  Pinkalicious

Favorite Food: BBQ Chips

Katy,

I love you to the moon and back.    I love watching you love life.  I love your sweet voice, and having” I love you more”  wars.  I love how much you are a Daddy’s girl.  I love how caring you are towards your “baby” Patrick.  I love that you love to sing, and color and play.  I love that you love to be a girly girl. I love you to the moon and back.  I am so thankful for you, and can’t imagine my world without you   I know that you are going to do great things in this world. 

Love,

Mommy

Murphy Christmas Cards 2010

Well I had originally planned to have the kids Christmas photos taken at Picture People, then as we were running out of time. (Long gone are the days that I would mail my Christmas cards the day after Thanksgiving, but I digress.)

I decided that we would give it one shot, and I would attempt to take the photo myself.  The kids were in a great mood, I had my trusty assistant (AKA Mike) so I figured we had nothing to loose and if I was able to get just one shot, it would be worth it, and save us a ton of money.  Since I am ALWAYS roped in to buying way more poses and shots than I need.

I am so happy with the results.  I even love some of the out takes.  I will share the outtakes below and the one we sent at the end.

RSVP

How hard is it to RSVP?!  Really?! I take the time to send you a traditional invitation  via USPS.  I give you ample notice.  All I ask is that you let me know whether you are able to come or not?! If you can AWESOME!, If you can’t I understand, just call, email, text me.  Some how let me know.  So I know how many damn cupcakes to make.

I might not care, if it was a regular that just happened to over look the RSVP.  But, its NOT.  It’s always the same people.  (Mostly, family) and Mike’s response is to just not invite them.  Well my response to that is I would rather bake an extra dozen cupcakes, than to see what World War 3 would look like.  Since my guess is that is what would erupt if I just chose not to send invites.  AHHHH…. RANT OVER!  That is until next month when I do this all over again for Patrick’s birthday! I know the little man is going to be 2!!!

Christmas Cards

I love all things Christmas. I especially love Christmas Cards… sending and receiving.  I love flipping through the mail for the handwritten addressed cards, I love ripping into them (especially the foil lined envelopes) Oh, and picture cards are MY FAVORITE!! I love to see how the kiddos have grown, throw in a Christmas letter and I am over the moon!  Yup, I LOVE me a good Christmas letter!  I hang them up in a prominent spot… so excited that the wall in my kitchen is a perfect place to display all our holiday cards.  If you send me a picture card… I keep it forever!! I have an entire album dedicated to Christmas card photos, I love to look back and see how our friends & family have grown and changed!

For the past 7 years I have sent handmade cards, with a photo.  I send about 75 cards so it is usually quite the production… a production I love.  I play Christmas music, sip some hot chocolate or sometimes a glass of wine.   I design and produce each and every card. 

Well this year, I just COULD NOT DO IT! I had the design, I even had purchased all the supplies needed to make the cards.  I just COULD NOT find the time to produce them.  After much discussion with Mike we decided that it was something I had to let go.  I would work on getting the perfect picture of my two holiday babes! and I would send GASP!!! BOXED CARDS!!! GASP!!!

I decided to attempt to take the picture myself after missing our appointment at Picture People and running out of time.  I am so happy I did.  The kids were in a great mood and I got MANY great photos.  ( I will share them just as soon as I am sure that the cards have arrived)

Saved us well over $100 in photos.  Spent that in cards! LOL!

Sunday Smiles 12-12-10

I am excited to hear that some of you are going to start doing Sunday Smiles… (that makes me smile) Don’t forget to link back to here. I am looking into having a Sunday Smiles button made. I really wish I was more digitally inclined.

So this weeks smiles…

Monday 12-6-10 Editing pictures from Katy’s birthday celebrations. She was so happy and excited!!

Tuesday 12-7-10 Patrick running up to Santa…and giving him a High 5! He was so excited to see Santa. I don’t know what it is that makes visiting Santa so magical. I have a fabulous family photo so I can relive that moment.

Wednesday 12-8-10 Katy packing her Minnie bag for her stay at Children’s. It amazes me after all she has been through, she loves going to see all her “fans”.

Thursday 12-9-10 Katy’s surgery going so smoothly….she didn’t have to stay overnight! AMAZING!!!!

Friday- 12-10-10 Watching Katy and Patrick admire all the ornaments on the tree. Love that they admire with their eyes and not their hands!

Saturday 12-11-10 Realizing I only have three people left to shop for and one is a gift card!

Sunday 12-12-10 Being SICK as a DAWG… sicker than I ever remember being and Mike telling me I still look beautiful.

What made you smile?!

Zoo Lights

We went with The Murphy’s of Lowell to the Stone Zoo, for their Zoo Lights. There weren’t many animals out, since I think it was the coldest night we have had all year! But, the lights were beautiful and the kids has a blast running around and riding the few amusement rides they had.

Love seeing Christmas through K & P’s eyes!! It’s the moments like these that get me through the hard days!